Monday, April 03, 2006

Top Ten Retorts

I was prevented by circumstances from contributing something timely for the finale of the CC blog last week. But for the stragglers yearning for another dose I thought I should at least give something "back to the community", trifling though it be. So here's a Letterman-style Top 10 list that should suffice as kind of a "cliff-notes" for the many, often self-parodic, retorts delivered in the comments by those less than impressed by this fine parody blog, although they obviously continued to return over and over.

Picking just 10 was a slight challenge - there were so many illustrious arguments to choose from. For example, it was hard to discard the fair nematodes reference, I mean, some of us learned a really cool new word. Please feel free to comment with your own favorites.

In fairness, permalinks are provided for context, but they won't necessarily take you directly to the comment (a weakness with blogspot) - some fishing through the heated dialogue may be in order. Also I left the grammatical and spelling errors intact; I only added a few vowels to make some words readable. Call me Pat Sajak.

10. No stroking necessary: "I don't need people to stroke me to convince me of the truth."

9. Idealistic? maybe, unsure: "If we're on the right trajectory it doesn't matter to me that we imperfectly live up to our ideals. This is a general rule for Christian living, I think."

8. What's he smoking?: "I move around a lot, but my main headquarters for many years would probably scare you plenty. The dumb crime is abating, however, as it has become 'organized' under my spiritual and logistical direction."

7. An "A" for assertion: "Dreher's thinking is far more conservative and even more rigorous then this dopey fratboy BS you idiot's seem to find enlightening."

6. More substance: "The single most convincing facet of Crunchy Conservatism is the fact that its opponents are such a overbearing group of mindless slobs.... Grow a sense of humor."

5. Just the facts...: "Screw nice. The fact is, a lot of people are and have been saying the suburbs suck, including suburbanites."

4. Whose movement?: "It's not Caleb's movement or my movement, and it's probably not really Rod's, or else Rod's movement is just trying to glob onto something bigger that's already there." [Yes, he wrote glob.]

3. Frankly: "You haven't winged anyone's utopia Pauli, and you seem to be the most humorless cuss around, frankly." [Cold!]

2. A "Deep Thought" from JR: "We're all hypocrites. It's just a matter of what we're hypocritical about."

...and the number one retort...

1. Whose pseudonymous?: "I previously thought this blog might be occupied mainly by pseudonymous NRO staff, but now I think it is just a pathetic cadre of adolescent hangers-on who scurry with glee like rodents with rotten food when someone 'inside' feeds them some shop gossip."


Blogger kathleen said...

Don't worry Pauli -- you winged MY utopia.

10:00 PM  

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