Thursday, March 30, 2006

Of Convivial Pots and Kettles.

Rod Dreher is worried for our country -- Katrina
and the spectre of suitcase nukes and EMP's. He doubts that we could survive a Depression with the courage of our ancestors, "soft as we are."

The 9/11 attacks changed him -- so he's the one whose worldview was changed by that non-event! -- and he worries about our continued refusal to take Islamism seriously.

(But, gosh, defeating Islamic extremists in Iraq sure is hard!)

Now, this morning, Rod is writing about the hard ideological and political divides between the right and the left. You know what their problem is? Both sides "gin up such fear and hatred of the Other that they get us to be loyal to them no matter how badly they’re failing, or lousy their agendas."

Yeah, shame on them, for such damnable fear-mongering.

You know, I think the Crunchies should promote their agenda--I mean, sensibility--with a television campaign. I'm sure they would be open to the idea of recycling an old commercial, and I know just the thing.


Blogger Bubba said...

Caleb Stegall -- who I believe still faithfully reads this blog (somebody sent him that link, indeed; hi, Caleb!) -- has admitted some skepticism about Rod's desire to escape left-and-right politics.

"The fact is that breaking out of politics as trench warfare almost always means breaking left in reality."

I agree, but we should keep this comment in mind the next time the crunchies denounce the free market -- which is, really, nothing more sinister than the free exchange between individuals.

If individual economic freedom is so bad, just what do they really propose as a solution? It's a question that keeps coming up, in my mind at least.

9:11 AM  
Blogger Bubba said...


10:06 AM  
Blogger Rayne said...

Now this is rich. The rest of us are "soft" - but Dreher et al - padding about in their lesbian sandals on the cobblestone paths to their artsy-crafty bungalows fretting about their profiles in the Style section of the Washington Post - THEY are the poster boys for Alpha males. Is a Crunchy Con anything but a disaffected metrosexual with a ludicrous passion for food and an unhealthy preoccupation with home decor and ugly, expensive footware? I cannot wrap my head around Dreher hailing from Southern Louisiana - it just doesn't seem possible. No wonder those guys love homeschooling - they probably got the living crap beat out of them on the playground.

11:17 AM  
Blogger kathleen said...

I'm sure the crunchies obsessively read this blog (though they would never admit it). why would crunchies pass up yet another opportunity to cluck their tongues at something (e.g. the "frat boy humor" on display here)? it's their raison d'etre.

yo yo YO! crunchy dawgs.

12:10 PM  
Blogger Nathan said...

Rayne, wow. Well done.

1:44 PM  
Blogger Bubba said...

Yeah, Rayne. Wow.

You ask, "Is a Crunchy Con anything but a disaffected metrosexual with a ludicrous passion for food and an unhealthy preoccupation with home decor and ugly, expensive footware?"

The answer is yes; they're also spiritual, or at least they'll be real quick to tell you that. Apparently, Rod thinks this "remarkable" article really nails the crunchy motivation.

"What a great piece that is," he coos, apparently unaware just how friggin' creepy this obsession of a "liturgical city" might appear to some.

I'll give him one thing: he's right that, if someone wanted to warn people about the crunchies, this article's a great place to start.

It's all here: hippie mumbo-jumbo (with a Catholic twist), definitions that make no sense from people who make no attempt to communicate effectively to the unitiated, viceral hatred of the Enlightment and the free market -- which we all know are cancers on humanity compared to the Inquisition, Islamic fundamentalism, and socialism -- and the sort of rhetoric that makes people want to punch you straight in the mouth.

Like the line toward the end, where they write that in America, it is "not considered necessary for the poor to be allowed to be human."

F--- you, crunchies. No, really. F--- you.

2:59 PM  
Blogger kathleen said...

"They probably got the living crap beat out of them on the playground."

Yeah, and in the higher education years, these are the guys who raised their hands every five minutes and droned on while the rest of the class rolled their eyes and clock-watched.

the thought of attending law school with stegall just makes me shudder.

3:20 PM  
Blogger The Contra Crunchy said...

A Gunner Bingo card with Stegall's name on it was probably as good as cash in the bank.

3:23 PM  
Blogger Casey said...

Frohnen just said he is "at best slightly crunchy." Honest.

Is he wig-wagging that he didn't get beat up in high school? Anyway, why has he been preaching the crunchy gospel so long?

Maybe he wants to come out of the closet: he shops at Wal-Mart, watches TV eleven hours a day, thinks Birks are for sissies, pigs out on Hershey bars, invests in factory farms, believes homeschoolers are nuts, and is moving to the cushiest suburb he can find.

5:52 PM  
Blogger Casey said...

The crunchies are going out on typically sour notes. Stegall describes us as a nation of Prufrocks, which will irritate anybody who gets the allusion. Rod just recommended a book which dumps on the suburbs, where most people in the U.S. live.

Rest assured, the crunchies will never attract much of a following in this country which they love to hate.

And now it's time to say good night...with apologies to Ringo, it's been fun puncturing the stuffed-shirt sanctimony and laughable hypocrisy of the crunchies. See y'all.

11:08 AM  
Blogger Bubba said...

Take care, Casey... and I imagine the "farewell" crunchies blog will draw the parody to a close.

1:46 PM  
Blogger Pauli said...

Speaking of playgrounds... (hello? anyone still there? Oh, HI! couldn't stay away could you?)

Anyway, speaking of playgrounds, what I'm really looking forward to is seeing what the crunchies build, you know, the liturgical city. I mean it is important to them, for our future and everything, so I imagine the blue-prints are in the works right now. I suppose they're not interested in what that Domino's Pizza guy builds down in Florida because that's all built on capitalist (i.e., ill-gotten) gains. I mean a pizza place is a staple for strip malls and a symptom for urban sprawl, sub-urban sprawl and sub-sub-urban sprawl, if not one of the causes.

But when they build it I'm sure it will be a wonderful place - and I'm not kidding. I'd like to live there and I will if I'm allowed. As Jape said the "movement is just beginning", but I think if they work as hard on it as they have on the crunch blog it should be built and running in about a year or so.

12:33 PM  

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